Getting drunk on mead alone because that is the best I can do for myself on my birthday and its getting really hard to hold myself up.
I had hoped to share this with someone, It is good quality traditional stuff because I am intolerant to the preservatives in the cheaper more common mead. Its even got tannin in it to make it super tasty, it was made by a druid, some of the best stuff. And yet, there is as always no one here with me.
I am caught between wanting to kill myself and wanting not to hurt the people who have failed to stop me from getting to this point of absolutely no hope.
But I am too logical to do that, and all I can do is continue to hope that equation never tips from low mostly null possibility of things getting better to the other side of things,
I’m just finding everything so hard and I’m so tired and I’ve got no legitimate support and I’ve got next to no strength left and I don’t know what to do.
One misstep and I fall, and I can barely see my feet any more.